BRTB “Buss Ride To BRR”

Last Saturday marked the thirty-something running of the two-wheeled bull um…run…known to the greater world as BRR or, the Bike Ride to Rippey.  This ride came from humble beginnings, with a few souls braving the brutal Iowa February winter weather to go out for a little bike ride from Perry to Rippey.  Some years it is below zero, windy, and just a handful of riders participate.  Other years, like 2009, it is in the 50s and more than a thousand people come out to party.  Regardless of the weather, the bars of Perry are filled not only with

blah balh blah.  whatever.  You get the point.  BRR: cold February ride.  got it.

A few years ago a man by the name of Steve had this great idea.  BRR isn’t really THAT challenging (the ride from Perry to Rippey and back is about 26 miles), so why not do something like ride gravel from DSM to Perry.  Great Idea.  This year was the fourth running of the GRR2BRR, and would have been my second.

The weather took a huge turn south on Friday, and I was pretty perplexed as to what bike would be the best for the job (which would probably have been my still-unfinished Fargo project).  I had company at home, watched a movie then realized it was after 1 am.  Shit.  I had to pull out of my house by 5:30 am to make it to Steve’s house for the start of the gravel ride.  Of course, I woke up at 7.  They were leaving at 7:30.  Shit.  Time for plan B.

Plan B involved trying to squeeze some 2.1’s onto the Vaya and hauling ass on the trail system to try to catch up with the GRR ride.  Plan B fell quickly by the wayside.

Plan C put me on the Bar Fly bus with no intention of riding a bike whatsoever.  I conferred with a friend who was also taking the bus, and it was decided that leaving the bikes at home was completely acceptable.  I gathered my party partner and headed towards the “Bus Depot”.  (Party Partner had also had plans fall through, so it was officially on)

Ride Report

Fireball got the holeshot, with a whole bottle being finished within three laps around the bus.  This was not an endurance pace day.  After the first bottle went down, the “Pit Bottle” was unleashed and a few more hot laps ensued.  Beer was flowing, then we hit the first barrier.  My “purple drank” four loko was opened and quickly rejected by almost every bus rider.  This left me, party partner, and two other people holding the tail of this grape flavored dragon.   We were about a quarter of the way to Perry.

Things slowed down and the field settled into a sustainable pace.

Okay, I am getting bored again.  So we get to Perry and see a bunch of friends, meet some new friends, and I got assaulted with snowballs and more beard questions/comments than usual.  I understand, the comments flow more freely the colder or hotter it gets.  (Colder=I wish I could grow a beard like that, Hotter=Doesn’t that thing get hot?)  I found the remaining contingent from the GRR2BRR ride, which numbered FOUR.  I knew I had made the right decision.  They GRR folks looked exhausted.  (okay, I had actually made the wrong decision as every mile counts between now and the TI).  We had some fun, then headed to Bouten.

Bouten brought skittles and a wild game of Flippy Cup.  I had never played this game, but since I have spent the greater part of my life being bored and flipping things over (you should see how I amaze convenience store clerks with my ability to flip a cigarette pack into my hand), I was a natural.  Party partner DID have to explain the rules (thanks for attending college, Party Partner) and the first round I messed up, but it was smooth sailing after that.

I don’t have the slightest idea what happened after that.  I think we went back to Des Moines.  I am pretty sure I ate a steak burrito at Abelardo’s.  I do remember waking up sometime in the middle of the night lecturing my cat on how much I hate it when he touches me in my sleep.  Not like THAT.  He kept trying to lay on my legs.

All in all, it was a great not ride.  We all had a good time,  everyone made it home safe.  Thank you Mace, Bill, and the Bar Fly bus for a great time…and saving me from sitting at home whining about not making it to BRR.


The Ice errr…SNOWman Cometh.

I have put most of my life on hold today due to some issues.  I really hate when this happens, but it is sometimes unavoidable.  I feel the mental/physical fatigue, the the downward spiral sets in, and a day or two later I am back in action.  I am currently smack dab in the middle of one of those moments, but something is about to happen.  Something that is such a big deal that I am going to put my “putting life on hold” on hold because I can’t just sit home moping while it transpires.  The first snow of the season is allegedly falling on Des Moines tonight, and I am on standby for some snow-riding glory.  I threw almost this whole day down the crapper and was poised to sit in bed watching shows on HULU all night, but goddamn if the snow isn’t all too compelling for this sad little panda to stay indoors while his world gets a good whitening.

So the bike is ready to roll, my snow gear is laid out and ready to be squeezed into.  I am sitting here at the computer watching the radar while writing some things, and all I can think of is “when the hell is this shit going to fall?”  This probably won’t be as spectacular as last year’s first blizzard death ride/live tweet for those of you who followed along.  This will be a solitary, soggy snow slog for a bearded man who needs a little cheering up.  I would like to thank Mother Nature in advance for the frozen gifts we are about to receive.

This is what I am talking about. (image heisted from

I’m back.

Well, it’s been quite a long while since any attention has been paid to this little kitten of a blog, but in the wake of a recent register article regarding my all-weather bicycling lunacy it has been decided that Capt. Lazy Bones should start writing about cycling again.  I mean, the article was basically a amazingly well strung together account of my caffeinated ramblings about biking and local wildlife.  How much better would it be if you all were treated to the actual tales straight from the commuter’s beard?  I know, I thought so too.

Anyway, here is a link to the Des Moines Register Article for your reading pleasure.  I will leave you with this for today, as it is 5 degrees out and I need to go gear up for a nice ride in the snow.

I hope there are a few of you out there whom are as “crazy” as me and are riding your bikes or at least snow shoeing your asses around in the cold!